A lot of the times I find myself being the friend or person that most people come to for advice. If you know me really well, you will know that I am not the best at speaking to people and making my thoughts clear. However, I am good at writing my thoughts… reasons I blog. So, today I am putting all of my best relationship advice together for all of you ladies out there.
One of the most asked things I get from people who come to me is, how to tell if the person they are talking to/ in a relationship with is serious and pursuing them for the right reasons. So, here are some signs to help determine just how serious he is.
As obvious as this might seem, if a guy is putting forth effort into building a relationship, that’s a good sign he is serious. When building a strong relationship with anyone, the effort put in must be equal. This means that the both of you should be working just as hard as the other to get to know each other and actually working to see each other in person.
He cares and shows interest.
Again, another obvious answer, but it’s true. When a guy can honestly ask you about how your day was and show interest in what you did, that says a lot about his intentions. We all know those people who ask about your day or what you’re doing just to maintain conversation. That is not the same thing. You’ll know he actually cares when he brings up something you mentioned earlier in the day or even in a past conversation and asks you about it. My favorite example of this is when you say you aren’t feeling well at one point in the day and move on from that conversation, but later on in the day they check back with you to see if you are feeling better. Remembering the little things is always a good sign of them caring and showing interest.
He doesn’t “ghost”.
This is a sign that sort of goes along with caring and showing interest. Ghosting is when someone just stops talking to you without a warning. Now with so many relationships being maintained over text, “being left on read” seems to be a big problem. It’s not the end of the world if someone doesn’t text you back or doesn’t respond to your snapchat. However, if it is done for long period of time without a warning, you might want to consider that. To me this just shows that they don’t care enough to let you know that they are going to be away from their phone for a while and that you don’t need to worry. I know so many people who let “being left on read” eat them alive. So, if this seems to be a problem in your relationship, let them know that you have a problem with it. Letting them know that will either resolve the problem, or lead to them explaining why they don’t feel the need to let you know what’s going on. Aka… he doesn’t play games.
He compliments you.
Yes, this is obvious, but this is so important. This again goes hand in hand with caring. When a guy can honestly mean what he says about how “beautiful you are without makeup” keep him. So many girls settle for a guy that only tells them how “cute” or “pretty” they are after they spend hours putting their makeup on and fixing their hair just right. Yes, it is good to receive compliments for all of your hard work, but getting a compliment on your natural beauty is so much more uplifting.
He encourages you.
We all have those days where nothing seems to go right and it feels like the only option is to give up. If a guy can encourage you to keep going and motivate you to pick your head up and put a smile back on your face, he is a keeper. We all need that person in our lives that is going to be there when we are down. If a guy is willing to be that for you, then he cares.
He’s a gentleman.
I know this one isn’t so much of a major sign, but it’s a good one. It always says a lot about a guy when he is willing to go out of his way to open a door, or shake your father’s hand. I think being a gentleman goes hand in hand with having manners and being respectful. I always find it a tad strange when a guy doesn’t show these qualities. I know a lot of people don’t really focus too much on this quality anymore because of feminism, but letssssss not go there for this post.
He spoils you.
Now I know some of you just read that and thought, ” A guy shouldn’t spoil you with gifts to prove he is serious.” That’s not what I mean here. When a guy is serious about you he should want to spoil you with his UNDIVIDED ATTENTION. Why is that in all caps you ask? Well, if he is serious about pursuing you, then you should have his full attention. You should not be okay with sharing that attention with other girls. In other words, he should not have other girls at his disposal and neither should you with other guys. Another way of being spoiled without gifts is with words. You can really tell how serious someone is by how much they compliment you and shower you with love. Aka…. they care and they try.
He does NOT pressure you.
Now being pressured can go with several things. I think it is so important when people in a relationship can trust each other enough to voice their limits and for those to be respected. You shouldn’t feel pressured into doing things you don’t want to do by someone that you are in a relationship with. That is a major red flag to an unhealthy relationship.
He prays for you.
Now this is my favorite sign that a guy is pursuing you. When someone can openly tell you that they pray for you and prayed for someone like you to enter their life, thats huge. I love hearing this because I know that it’s God’s way of showing you that He placed that person into your life for a reason. I don’t think there could be any better way for a guy to show how serious he is than admitting that he is pursuing you in a Godly and pure relationship.
How he makes you feel about yourself.
How a guy makes you feel about yourself is always the biggest sign as to if he is serious or not. Being pursued in all the right ways by someone should make you feel like the happiest girl in the world. If there is ever a moment where you feel insecure about yourself because of a guy, then maybe you should take a step back and figure out why. You should not need a guy in your life to feel good about yourself or to be happy. However, the guy in your life should not be a reason to not be happy. Life is to short to have someone that has that sort of impact on your happiness.
Now, I know that was kind of long, but these are just some of the few signs that are most important to me when deciding if a relationship is serious or not. I hope my experience and advice help you guys!